Besides my wonderful parents and brother. You guys suck.

You will never know how it hurt that you couldn’t make it to my high school graduation because your grandson’s baseball game is more important.

That one goes for you, grandma. All you’re good for is money.

The rest of you (aunts, uncles, cousins), I’d like to get to know you. I’d like to know I’m important to you because you’re important to me. But this is a two way street, and I can’t make all the effort.

Sincerely, Jessica

i haven’t! what is it?

I haven’t heard of that until now, so no I wasn’t planning on it. But I’d like to now! :)

They say time heals all wounds, and I believe it. I just hate waiting for time to heal my wound. I honestly don’t even know what’s going on between me and my “boyfriend” right now, and all these thoughts that I’m having…they scare me.

It’s so obvious that him and I aren’t good for each other at all. We push each other to our limits almost on a daily basis, and things have been getting worse. I hate who I’ve become, and what I’m doing. I know it’s hurtful, and I can’t take back what I’ve done, but the anger is just overwhelming me and I don’t control it very well. I want to be able to change that, but I need to get something back. I need him to want to be with me, and never give up on me even though I’m not always easy to be around. I want him to not care what his friends think of me, only what he thinks of me. And if he loves me then nothing else should matter.

But I’m at my breaking point. I feel like we will never get better. I feel trapped because I love him and I want to be with him, and I put up with whatever he throws my way. I remember what he said to be yesterday evening, and now I’m starting to think that maybe he feels trapped because of what I did to him. I don’t want him to feel that, it’s not a nice feeling.

I just wish we could work everything out, but I think it might be too late.

Everybody’s been telling me to just give the situation time, but I’m not good at doing that. I can’t just sit here and wait and not know what’s going to happen. I would much rather fix things now, but I know I can’t do that right now. So I’m stuck here with my emotions and thoughts, and it sucks! But, I’m waiting. It’s taking all the strength in me to wait.

i love these bracelets :)

I don’t know who reads this, but I want more followers on Twitter, I’ll follow back :)

@jschindler94

Thanks :)

Sigh

My exboyfriend. I love more than anything else on this world, and I’m not just saying that. We’ve been through hell and back, and he’s still the boy that has my heart.

It’s been four years of being on this roller coaster though, and I feel my heart changing. I still love him with everything I have, but I’m so confused. When I think about him now, I remember all the shit he put me through. I don’t want to go through that again. I’m probably waiting around for something that’s not going to happen. He’s going to do what he does best, and he’s going to tell me that he doesn’t want a girlfriend right now because he has a few major decisions to make. Then two weeks later he’s going to tell me he has a girlfriend. I don’t want to hear that, I don’t want to deal with that again. It sucks.

Finally, my heart is leaning towards letting him go rather than trying to hold on. But I’m always going to love him.

I hate goodbyes :(

so…this is my favorite song and favorite movie! the song completely describes how i miss my first love because we were so crazy together, and now this amazing guy came along but it’s like…i still miss my first true love. sad </3

love? i prefer vodka :)

So pretty!